Simple steps to free yourself from the past.
Is it possible to free yourself from the past at all?
If you feel that you are tired with the ghosts of the past. If you keep asking yourself the same questions about events or people that came into your life long ago
IF YOU FEEL:
Angry at the people who hurt you …
Frustrated with opportunities you didn’t get …
Limited by obstacles …
Discouraged by failures and failures …
Ashamed of the mistakes you made …
Disappointed with herself for making “wrong” choices …
You worry about everything that is not working in your life …
it is a sign that it is high time to forget what was and move on.
I know you might say:
“If this would be so easy!”
“Okay, just how?”
If you read on, I will tell you how you can achieve it.
What are the ghosts of the past?
The past can torment us in many ways. It may be a regret that you did something or, conversely, a regret that you did not do something. It may be shame for your own behavior or emotional pain caused by another person or experiences. Painful experiences that feel as if they have left their mark on your entire life. That’s why you don’t touch on certain topics, avoid certain people, and keep your mind coming back to certain facts from the past. They have a devastating effect on your mental state, because you know yourself that you have changed yourself, even though you didn’t want to. You’ve become more secretive, you don’t trust people, you have a reserve. Accumulated emotions cause physical pain and affect how you function.
If you are fed up with it and want to get it all out of your mind, I have good news for you, but also bad news.
Well, as you probably know, you can’t go back in time and I can’t help it either. I won’t remove them from my calendar. The good news is that you can change your perspective on how you perceive past events. It really may not be that simple, but I believe you will do it.
Lessons in our lives.
I don’t know what you believe, but I personally believe that each of us has a mission and a lesson to learn in our lives. Imagine you have it too. How to check? Tell me if you can see patterns in your life. Things that you constantly meet or experience in your life. For example: you are constantly hooking up with the wrong guy, your relationships end quickly, a promotion or better job is constantly slipping through your nose, your parents or friends keep making the same remarks …
If such a pattern continues to this day, it means that it is probably high time to ask yourself: What are these experiences supposed to teach me? What is their deeper meaning?
You will find answers to these and other questions nowhere else but in yourself. Because what you experience in life is a manifestation of what is going on in your head. If you feel like a victim and lack confidence always there will be some who will remind you. So maybe it’s time to think what kind of challenge the event is or rather was. Maybe it’s time for some changes? So consider the past as a clue to what you need to work on. Lack of self-confidence, too arrogance, not accepting one’s sexuality, over-trusting strangers. Think … what could it be …
Take your distance.
I wish you would stop treating others as enemies. Try to see the situation from a distance and think about your lesson? Answer yourself what that person wanted to show me. Maybe something hurt you because there is even a grain of truth there? That is, what you subconsciously believe to be true. Maybe you lack self-confidence, maybe the bitter words you heard are what you subconsciously think about yourself? I am not saying that it is always so, but it is for certain situations. Sometimes others in the world just take out their own problems on you. Either way, don’t take such experiences personally.
It was just like it was supposed to be …
What if I told you that your life and your life path was exactly as it should be. That even if you were to start living anew, certain events would arise again. Maybe other people would show up, but they would give you exactly the same pain. Instead of giving a stain at the school disco, you’d give it on a date at a restaurant. My point is, it’s not about a specific event or person, but how it affected you. Instead of thinking, Czesiu Kowalski put me on a date or broke my heart. Think that this guy wanted to show you something at this stage. Maybe you weren’t really ready for love, that you wanted someone to love you so forcefully. Whatever it was, you have to realize it.
I know that what I will mention below may be worrying you, but unfortunately you have to remember the past. Go back to any painful situation, analyze it and work it through. See all circumstances. Look for that second bottom. If you want to free yourself from the past, know that you really want to do it.
Let me picture something for you.
Imagine you are walking down the street. You keep glancing over your shoulder on one side and the other. You check if someone is walking or if someone is looking at you. And you feel insecure, you feel uneasy. You know you can’t go back because you’re going in a different direction, but you still have a peek there. At the same time, you are inattentive and you do not notice what is around you. So the smiles of people who pass you by, you don’t see the hand that wants to help you. The direction of your path has already changed a bit and you have not even noticed it. You discovered that you do not know exactly where you are because you did not fully watch your route, you did not look straight ahead. Now think for a moment that this is what your life is like if you keep coming back to the past problems and unpleasant events. They block you and your development. Often you do not even realize it yourself because everything takes place in your subconscious. They make you stuck somewhere between the past and the future. You’re not enjoying the present moment as you should. I think it’s time to change that.
It is important that you develop such a habit now, so that unpleasant situations that may still happen do not wait for a cure somewhere in 10 years. To do this, when you are alone, start telling old stories. Try to discover as many details as possible. Sometimes when we look at certain events, we sometimes exaggerate certain things and focus only on the negative elements. But the whole picture isn’t just black or white. The more elements and motives for the actions of others you see, the more understanding you will feel.
If it is difficult for you to talk about it, maybe it will be easier for you to write. Put all these emotions on paper. You have to set them free. Don’t run away from it. Maybe the devil is not that scary? Just to be clear, you don’t have to do it in one go. Give yourself time. If you open up to this cleansing from the past, you will intuitively know what and when to heal. The same will come to you if you stop running from it.
Let me give you an example from my own life. As I began to reflect and write about my past love life, I was amazed at how certain feelings came back to me. I thought there was no drama in general. Coming back, however, and writing page after page, I had the impression that I was still teenagers and I felt the same pain. Not accepting, thinking no one will love me. Because who – such a gray mouse?
It was a really intense experience and tears ran down my cheeks. I didn’t know what was happening myself. How is it possible that something like this was still in the recesses of my soul …?!
I allowed myself to feel all these emotions, which was not very pleasant … But then I felt calm and said to myself:
“Yes Kasia. This is how you felt when you were teen years old. But you know what, you had a right to do it. You had a right to feel this way. Nobody supported you to make you feel different. Nobody helped you build your self-esteem and confidence. Now breathe ……. and let it go. It used to be. You were different. “
I saw myself through the eyes of my imagination and you know what …… I wanted to be able to go back in time, hug that myself and say “It will be fine Kasia. I’m with you”.
I realized that my teenage loves were only unfulfilled because I wanted too much for someone to love me and accept me. Only I didn’t even like myself. I didn’t feel like I deserved love.
The whole experience made me no longer afraid to remember the past. When I think back to that period, I don’t feel such strong emotions anymore.
“Holding a grudge doesn’t make you stronger. It makes you rough. Forgiveness doesn’t make you weak. It frees you and gives you strength.
The more you hold a grudge against someone, the more it takes away your power. In order to regain it, it is worth taking responsibility for your life and your decisions. Ultimately, however, it was you who made them yourself. Yes, maybe someone was telling you or giving you advice. Maybe he was blackmailing you emotionally, but you did or did not act. Maybe you just avoided responsibility. Maybe you were afraid to decide or to take the risk, so you didn’t make it at all. When a bad decision did you more harm than good, it was easier to blame someone else.
Admit your weakness to yourself and accept it. Most importantly, accept yourself as you once were in those circumstances. It doesn’t mean that you still are. Remember you can change yourself at any time. You are not your past and who you were, but through the past you have become who you are now. If you like yourself that’s great. If not, make an effort to change it. Sometimes it is someone else that causes you pain, but it is your responsibility to heal yourself. As an adult, you are able to make decisions that you weren’t able to as a child.
Prove more understanding and compassion.
“It doesn’t matter where you come from.
All that matters is where you go. ”
Remember that you are free to make mistakes like any other human being. Develop more understanding and compassion. See yourself as you would your friend. Forgive yourself all the mistakes, bad decisions, habits. That’s all you’re not entirely proud of. For me, it was much more difficult to forget my own mistakes than to forgive someone else. Maybe there is hope. Sometimes people find it easier to forgive someone than themselves. So maybe it’s not worth tormenting yourself with things that others do not even remember.
Maybe you can even show understanding for the other person. The more regret you choke, the worse it is for you. In this way, you give that person strength and power over your life. Maybe it’s worth it to just let her go and let her go her way.
Coming to terms with the past is not an easy task. However, if you know what steps you must take and you are determined to take up the challenge, I am sure you will succeed.
For the record:
1. Change your perspective on the past because
- Bad experiences are lessons that make you grow
- People you meet show you things that are worth working on
- Open up and let yourself really relive the emotions of painful moments in the past
- Take responsibility for your life and the life choices you make
- Show understanding and compassion for yourself and for others
- Forgive yourself and others – leave the past behind
If you let go of the past and learn from history, you are one step closer to a successful future. You can now focus on yourself and start a new phase in your life.
Are you ready to implement these steps in your life?